I remember the day I became fully human. That was the day I realized I was no longer a child.

It didn’t happen all at once, though. It was more like a slow, quiet progression that snuck up on me. Like when your hair grows—one day it’s just there, longer than you remember, but you never actually felt it growing. That’s how childhood slipped away from me. It wasn’t some sudden moment of clarity, some big realization that I had crossed over into adulthood. It was more subtle than that. Every few months, little pieces of my childhood drifted further away from me, without me even noticing.

Each day felt like the one before, yet somehow everything was shifting beneath the surface. The things that once made me feel safe, that I thought were forever, became distant, like echoes fading. And all the while, I kept moving forward, unaware of just how much I was leaving behind.

The truth is, we never really stop being children. It’s the child within us—the innocent, curious, wide-eyed self—that is the most authentic version of who we are. To lose touch with that child is to lose touch with ourselves, to compromise pieces of our identity in the pursuit of belonging.

When we stop nurturing that part of us, the one that once stared at the sky in awe or crouched barefoot in the mud, uncovering earthworms and asking, “What is this?”—we lose something sacred. That wonder, that simplicity, that innate curiosity doesn’t disappear as we age, but we start to forget it’s there. The world pushes us toward growing up, getting jobs, grinding away in pursuit of some version of success. We’re told that’s the way life works. Little by little, though, we lose the connection to the child we once were.

This slow forgetting is what leads to the kind of pain that festers. It’s why we harbor resentment, anger, and a longing for something we can’t quite name. We become open wounds, hoping someone else will come along and remind us who we are, desperate to feel seen and loved again. But as each new wound appears, we retreat even further, numbing the pain with distractions.

We forget that the answer isn’t out there, but inside us—the child who once felt unconditionally worthy, the one who embraced wonder without needing to justify it. The one who truly loves you.

Psychologists refer to this as self-silencing, which research shows is more common than we might think. A study published in Psychology of Women Quarterly found that people—particularly women—are often socialized to put the needs and desires of others ahead of their own, especially in romantic relationships. This can lead to a suppression of personal thoughts and feelings, all in an effort to maintain harmony in the relationship. But over time, the cost of this self-silencing is heavy.

The more we lose touch with that part of ourselves, the more we risk drifting away from who we truly are. Living from a place of worthiness, compassion, and joy means staying connected to that child within—the one who was always there, loving the world without hesitation, before we were told we had to grow up and forget.A landmark study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that individuals who suppress their true selves in relationships—whether through self-silencing or altering their behaviors—often report lower levels of relationship satisfaction and intimacy. When you hide parts of yourself to fit your partner’s mold, it becomes harder to form a deep, genuine connection. Authenticity is the foundation of emotional intimacy. If you lose your authentic self, how can someone truly love you?