How to Make Peace With Your Fear
Begin by Listening to Your Body Using Your Wise MindWhen it comes to making decisions it can become easy to feel conflicted about a particular decision or action, if we listen careful enough our bodies will hold the answer to our true discernment. In dialectical behavioral therapy, this ‘bodily intuition’ is called the ‘wise mind.’ in therapeutic speak, a mindful awareness of emotions, or ‘wise mind’ is similar to intuition (Linehan, 1993b). Often, both intuition and wise mind are described as our feeling that come from the ‘gut’ or the stomach area (ever heard of in the pit of my stomach). When we begin checking in and listening to our bodies, we are able to get more in touch with our gut feelings, both physically and mentally. Whatever experience we use to describe healthy relationships, when we’re in them, we feel nourished by them, in body as well as mind. It’s not a lustful state or a friendship state. It’s the warm quality we know from practicing lovingkindness and compassion. When we pay attention to the sensations in our bodies, we can feel love is the energetic opposite of fear. Love is the sensation that seems open and expanding right down to our cellular level. When we’re experiencing fear or doubt, we may be behaving from our ’emotion mind.’ Emotion mind occurs when we make judgments or decisions based solely on how we feel. Without keeping in mind, that emotions themselves are not bar or problematic. We can be angry, devastated and hurt it doesn’t mean we need to end the relationship in its entirety. The problems associated with emotion mind is when the emotions control our lives. This trap is especially dangerous for people with overwhelming emotions because emotion mind distorts our thoughts judgment and then these distortions make it hard to formulate healthy decisions about our lives. So how can we become so confused in love? It seems so simple, right? Love seems to open us up, while fear keeps us from being able to say YES to love – perhaps our greatest challenge as human beings. Close relationships ask us to put down our barriers and open our hearts in non-judging and critical ways. Yet if we’ve felt hurt, unseen and abused in childhood then the thought of self-disclosure and vulnerability can be almost life-threatening. Working with Our Barriers When working with the barriers, it is important to begin learning how to make ‘wise decisions’ about who we love and how we love. Now that you understand to check in with your body, you can begin to check in to the parts of yourself that feel discomfort when you’re confused or needing guidance.
- What is coming up for you?
- Why are you experiencing discomfort?
- When you begin thinking about it, what do you fear most?
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Healing Anxiety and Fear | | Dallas, Texas
[…] of all of these forms of dissociation, separation from the self plays the largest role in contributing to anxiety as well as other kinds of emotional difficulties. There may be origins to a state of division within yourself, but it usually stems from past trauma and cumulative stress. Whether the loss or neglect or a parent, physical abuse, family alcoholism, excessive parental criticism or simply moving too often a majority of adults in contemporary society have suffered childhood trauma. These traumas can create and intense and cumulative form of stress, if you never learned as a child how. to nurture and care for yourself, you have likely ignored. the stress and kept pushing yourself even harder towards external goals, good grades, the best job, the right partner, the best home and lifestyle, continued career achievement, and so on. Society seems to reward this type of emotional disconnection – and that’s okay. The most loving and supportive thing that you can give to yourself is to rebuild inner reconnection. When you reconnect with your innermost being, there is less of a need to compulsively search for stimulation or comfort outside of yourself. You begin to discover that, by its very nature, your innermost being is a source of peace, joy and contentment. […]